One Step Closer
In my previous post, Back At TweakYourBiz , I mentioned I had taken time to assess what I wanted to do next. Regular readers of this blog have probably noticed that I shy away from getting too personal. But during a recent coaching session, I noticed that the questions I was asking my client were the questions I had to answer last year.
One Step Closer
A good friend of mine gave me a copy of U2′s How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb about 9 months ago. I have a copy already and some of the songs have resonated with me for a long time. Strangely, it was like hearing the album for the first time. Circumstances had created a perfect storm that nearly ended my business. At one point, I actually thought it was over and I should just get a job. I truly felt as if everything in my life had just upended but this U2 song, One Step Closer kept echoing in my head.
I’m ’round the corner from anything that’s real
I’m across the road from hope
I’m under a bridge in a rip tide
That’s taken everything I own
That verse sounds so dramatic but it felt that way. I had built a small business but earlier crises had used up my resources and there was very little left this time. During a major crisis of confidence, it’s not unusual to question your values, choices and actions. When you’re a business owner, lots of things can trigger a crisis. They are personal events like a medical problem, family issues or even business events such as losing your best customer or discovering an accounting error. Maybe it is a larger world event such as a recession or natural disaster.
The “backwards” trigger
The most surprising trigger is when the business is poised for growth. For small businesses, landing a more sophisticated client, hiring staff or expanding beyond the borders of a tried-and-true market is a big event. For the small business owner, it can be both exhilarating and intimidating. Old ghosts haunt us. Those beliefs that we’re frauds or incompetent or just too small reverberate in our heads. Managing this negativity and our businesses just taps us out. I’ve had clients tell me stories about how they are still the misfit they were as a child or there is something inherently wrong with them so they can’t be good bosses or major competitors in their industry. You know in your head this is complete nonsense but your heart…well, that takes a lot more convincing.
Stuck in between
I’m on an island at a busy intersection
I can’t go forward, I can’t turn back
The future is getting away from me
I just watch the tail lights glowing
Regardless of your particular trigger, it feels like your dream is abandoning you. You might even try to convince yourself that your great innovation or exceptional offering is ridiculous.
The questions:
1. What do I want?
2. What am I willing to give up to have “It”?
3. What is it costing me to hold onto my negative beliefs?
4. What do I need to get my desired goal?
5. What is one thing that will bring me one step closer to my goal?
The gift
While a crisis isn’t something you seek out as an experience, there is a gift.
One step closer to knowing
One step closer to knowing
One step closer to knowing
To knowing, to knowing
To knowing
Adversity can be an amplifier, if you allow it. We see all aspects of ourselves; our imperfections and where we disconnected from our own beauty. If we’re willing to open ourselves, we can learn more about who we are. This self-knowledge can profoundly affect our businesses.
It has profoundly affected mine. I took a risk and asked certain people in my network to help me. I have found mentors and friends. I have one current client who has stuck with me because he continues to find value in my coaching. I know more about me and have found I am less afraid. Consequently, I’m building my business back up to where it was pre-crisis. This work with small business owners is the work I love! There is more to discover and accept and I wish it didn’t have to be such a difficult experience but I am one step closer to knowing.
About the author: I’m Elli St.George Godfrey, a small business coach and trainer who guides established small business owners to be comfortable in their own skin. I have a deep appreciation for learning and understanding my client’s business style and culture. Whether you are expanding in your own backyard or into another country, my 3 keys coaching process helps clients move from being excited about a new business opportunity to having the tools to make it actually happen. Curious? Schedule your complimentary coaching session here.
8 Comments
A brave post and one that I can truly empathise with. Interestingly, I have a post in draft at the moment following on from the Charisma conference I attended a few weeks ago – about how that negative voice in your head always sounds so convincing and how effective it can be at sapping your confidence.
I think you hit the nail on the head too – ask for help and people will give it
Well done
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Lorna,
Thank you for the comment. That negative voice is astonishingly powerful even when we know it is isn’t true. The greatest gift I learned was that I didn’t have to go it alone. There are wonderful people who want to leave a legacy and just need some kind of invitation from us to nurture, encourage and groom us so we become our best selves.
Thank you also for the encouragement! I look forward to reading your post!
~Elli
A personal and candid account Elli – thank you for sharing with your readers. It is an inspiration to read blog posts like this, responsibility and accountability from the best of us is so re-assuring for our likely clients.
Sometimes (aside from the self-torture and lack of self-belief), it is necessary to open ourselves. By opening ourselves to vulnerability, that is where the best learning can happen. Our clients need to see that we are transparent and whole, and also experience crisis and dips and second guesses.
Authenticity shines, and congratulations of your second wind of legacy. I wish you the best and am privileged to be sharing some amazing spaces in the online world with you.
Elaine,
Thank you for your thoughts. All of us (even the best of us) have moments when things are turbulent. Transparency for our clients (current and future) reassures them that we get what it means to run a business. The highs and lows are part of the landscape and we don’t have the magic wand either. It is important to know the difference between the appearance of weakness (which could undermine our position in the marketplace) and sharing information with trusted advisors and/or mentors. It is essential to learning to admit you don’t know what you don’t know. This clarity allows you to go find the best answers.
And the feeling is mutual, I too feel privileged to share some amazing spaces in the online worlds with you!
~Elli
Congratulations of your second wind of legacy!!! I wish you the best.
It is always been an inspiration to read blog posts like this…
Thanks for sharing…
Paul Harry recently posted..Death of the Dollar, Again
Dear Ellie: Thanks for a really courageous, wonderful post. Kudos on moving past what was, I know it is hard as I have achieved great success and also started my life and business again from ground zero.
The power to move past what you so aptly called “stuck places” and “backwards triggers” requires courage, self awareness and the heart of a leader. Leadership is implicity using what is to create what can be.
I wish you only great success in your business, and look forward to reading more of your posts.
Very best! Irene
Irene,
Thank you for reading and leaving a comment. Your story is very inspirational so your encouragement is deeply appreciated!
Leadership is definitely a work of creation. From seeing the vision and then inspiring others to join you in making this reality takes creativity. After reading your comment, it occurred to me that courage is a power source. Courage is an integral piece to developing self-awareness as well as the willingness to act on one’s dreams.
~Elli
Paul,
Thank you for commenting and your good wishes. While it’s not my usual practice to share so much of myself in my blog, it is good to hear when it provides value for someone like yourself.
Best wishes for your success!
~Elli